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Pete the Machine Rhodes Wiki
Pete knows you, he knows you more than you know you, don't disappoint Pete. His hobbies include: Creating the heavens and the Earth, Building the Ark but only letting female animals on it, Eating a wholesome breakfast of Dodgeball Freshers and whiskey and resting on the sabbath In order to find a Pete in the wild look for the long queue of beautiful women lined up waiting to give him a pat on the back for doing such a good job with everything. Pete will often enjoy a beverage with the compatriots if the occasion calls for it. However, he has been known to go in for what the youths call "A cheeky sesh". This will result in Pete becoming highly inebriated and "riding the wave" all the way to ocean. What an absolute legend He will only be photographed wearing a festive paper crown, as it reminds him of that time he stole Santa's sleigh and delivered all the presents by tea time, proving St Nick to be economically inefficient. What a guy His dodgeball prowess began in the summer of '02, when he attended the England U21 trials aged only 7 and made the captain go home crying after delivering a spleen rupturing pengerino, the likes of which has not been seen on a dodgeball court since.. After rejecting the England call up due to his need to play on the slide with his chums. He has terrorised the UoN scene since and made Freshers wet their pants with a simple fake throw. What a man Early Life Peter Rhodes was born in a barn to two friendly goats in the late 16th century. It was all downhill from there. His interest in maths began learning to count straw while his parents were milked when he was 3 months old. This was a gateway to his times tables. At just 2 years old, he lost both parents to syphilis. Following his parents' tragic demise, Pete took to the streets, a struggle for a young man who had yet to master walking. Faced with many challenges, Pete managed to fend off rival gangs using his superior abilities in trigonometry, algebra, and eventually calculus. Naturally this was hindered by his inability to form complete sentences. Calculus proved his greatest struggle, taking him until the tender age of 8 to truly master. He achieved this through a journey to find himself returning to the barn in which he was born. Armed with a full mathematical arsenal and a decent grasp of the english language, Pete conquered all of Leicester. To this day a statue of him can be found buried under a car park in the town centre. He made it himself from pasta. The University of Nottingham finally rescued Peter from his life of hardship by offering him a position on their maths course. He was noticed by them due to his raising of other disadvantaged children like himself, showing them the light of maths. For this he received two scholarships and a Blue Peter Badge, which was promptly named after him (formally called the Blue Bernard Badge). His uni career began when he corrected his lecturer in his first ever lecture, with the lecturer then bowing down to the obvious prowess of "the machine" and giving him an automatic pass through first year, with a mark of 1000%. He then proceeded to tutor over 2000 pupils to 100% over the course of his first year, becoming the most sort after tutor of all time. ACCOLADES He currently holds the world record for the fastest 360 throw, coming in at a record speed of 726 mph, luckily he wasn't trying very hard that day. He also has a gold medal in Dodgeball from the British Dodgeball association, this was awarded to him simply for turning up, as everyone else was too afraid to face him. He is internationally revered for his prowess in VR gaming, especially the one with the hot dogs Biannually Rhodes creates a new legendary dodgeball Dream Team. Historically these duos have been so powerful they rivalled Ying & Yang, Trump & bad hair days, and even pina coladas & getting caught in the rain. It is said that whoever catches a pengerino from the Dr. of Dodgeball shall be named the true King of England. This last occurred in early 1952, and big Lizzie was crowned soon after. Peter was so ashamed that he didn't play dodgeball again until his birth. Favourite Roads Favourite Ways to Kill 13 Year Olds '' '' Category:Browse